Resolutions...

New Year's Resolutions...do you make them each year, fully intending to keep them, or do you make them and quickly lose your resolve and break them, or have you just decided not to make them any more so you don't have to worry about "making" them or "breaking" them?

I used to make resolutions every year, usually about my weight or some other self-improvement area, but I never made it very far into the year before they were broken.  I finally quit making resolutions to avoid the frustration of never being successful in keeping them.

When it comes to being a parent though, it can be useful to make a plan for how you are going to parent your child in the coming year.  That doesn't mean that you will keep your resolution, but when it comes to their children, parents usually make a sincere effort.

Have you thought about what kind of parent you want to be, not just in the coming year, but for all time?  Searching out the answer to that question can be quite revealing.  What vision do you have for your child's future...do you want them to be well educated, financially successful, emotionally happy, physically strong,  Of course you do!  We all want our children to have everything!

What about spiritually connected?  When your child sees you, do they immediately know that your faith in God is your greatest strength?  Do they see you meeting challenges, achieving success, enjoying life with your spouse and being healthy? Do they see you turning to God daily for direction in all areas of your life?  Do they see you surviving the rough places when you stumble and God carries you?

I have two resolutions for you this year:

• Make sure that your family is in church regularly somewhere so that they are being fed and their faith may grow.
• As a leader in your family, keep your faith strong by daily time in God's Word.

I made a resolution in August of this year to be in God's Word daily...yes, I've made that resolution before!  This year I found a tool that I want to share with you.  Sitting down for any length of time to read my Bible is not as easy as it should be so I now have the Bible on an app on my phone and my computer...it is always open so I find myself going there often.  One of the great things that I have enjoyed is the "reading plans" that are available and give me a focus and direction.  I am currently on day 58 of a 280 day plan called "Parenting by Design".  If you are interested in strengthening your walk with the Lord, go to YouVersion.com and check it out.
 

1 Chronicles 16:11 KJV

Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually.

 

MAY GOD BLESS YOUR JOURNEY AS YOU PARENT IN 2012 AND BEYOND!

Love is Not an Option

First you were a couple...then you were parents.  How that changes things!  As a couple, it was all about the two of you (and maybe your pets).  You did things together, you sent messages to each other, you gave gifts to each other, you had time for each other.  Then, that new baby came into your life and everything changed.  At first it was great...you shared everything about your new baby and you quickly became a threesome or foursome or fivesome. 
Eventually, though the newness wears off and life returns to normal.  You are now balancing your career with not only your relationship with your spouse, but also with your role as a parent.  There doesn't seem to be enough time in the day for everyone and everything.  Very quickly husbands (and wives) begin  to feel neglected and stressed and overworked.  It is hard to find time to care for and love each other!
It is generally good practice for husbands and wives to schedule regular (at least once a month) dates with each other and spend time with each other.  Find a sitter, take turns planning a night out (or in) to devote just to each other.  You and your spouse will benefit from that one small thing and even more that that your child(ren) will benefit too!
It has been said that the best thing that a father can do for his children is love their mother and the best thing that a mother can do is love their father.  Your children learn about commitment, sacrifice, love, marriage, relationships and so many other things when they see their parents "loving and caring" for one another.  It provides them with a sense of security!
In many marriages, the priorities are all messed up...it should be God first, spouse second, children third and job fourth.  it is not easy to follow these priorities, but the alternative leads to unhappy homes and divorced families.  In the long run, it is the children that suffer the most.
If you need some resources to get your marriage back on track, check out the "Love Dare Book" from Fireproof and "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.
Remember...you were a couple before your children arrived and you will be a couple again when they leave the nest.  Hang on to each other and keep loving!

Building a Child's Self Esteem

I have had the privilege of watching many children grown up over the years that I have been a classroom teacher, Sunday School teacher, Girl Scout leader, Children's Ministry Director, Childcare Director and mom.  Parents have often expressed concern over their child's self-esteem or the lack of it. They have over-compensated by excessive praise that wasn't really necessary or sincere.  They have failed to correct their child's behavior because they didn't want to damage their child's self-esteem.  All the while, those things weren't what was destroying the child's self worth.

In this technological age, I am always amazed at the number of parents who come in to drop off or pick up their children at childcare while talking on their cell phone.  I know that business is important for their livelihood, but they are either leaving their child for a long day or picking them up after a long day.  Their child needs their undivided attention!  The child's self-esteem grows when they see that they are #1 in their parents eyes.

The other thing that really gets me is when they clean out their child's cubbie and throw everything in the trash before they leave the building.  They don't take the time to look through it or even talk to their child about their creations.  Even though the scraps of paper may not mean much to the parent, it does to the child.

Children grow up so very fast...take it from me the time just flies by!  Parents would be wise to cherish the moments with their children.  It would be much better for a parent to take time to properly say good-bye to their child each day, or to sit down for a minute to play with them or talk to them about their day instead of rushing off to the next activity or event.  This is where love is spelled TIME.

Have you ever though about framing your child's art...not just on the refrigerator for a time, but in a real frame and making a gallery of their best work.  More than anything your child desires your approval.  I saved all my children's school work, but never did anything with it except store it in the attic.  I wish I had taken a different approach.

Holiday Traditions

Establishing traditions in your family can be lots of fun and can give your child many special memories to cherish.  As a little girl growing up I can remember the traditions of my childhood...some of which I've brought into my home as my children were growing up.
At Thanksgiving we always had a very traditional meal of turkey, dressing, my grandma's egg noodles, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie.  We usually still have the same thing now if I am doing the cooking, but I haven't mastered the egg noodles.
We usually decorate for Christmas on Thanksgiving weekend and leave our decorations up till after the New Year.  It has been a special joy to put up the Nativity scene that was in my grandparents yard each year as I was growing up.  It has now be up for over 60 Christmases.
My grandparents always had their children and grandchildren in their home on Christmas Eve, usually before the children's Christmas program at church.  We always had ham sandwiches with lots of salads and sides for dinner (that was my grandfather's request because it was his birthday too).  After church we got to open one Christmas present before we went to bed.  We would get up the next morning and all our presents would be under the tree and we would get to open them before we went to worship on Christmas day.
As my children were growing up we didn't live close to family, but we have held on to our Christmas Eve meal over the years.  We also baked lots of Christmas cookies (a marathon baking event) and then fixed up special plates of cookies to take to all our friends and neighbors.  Since my husband is a pastor and he was usually gone to the church on Christmas Day when the kids got up, we started opening all our gifts on Christmas Eve.  We save our stockings till Christmas Day and open them after dinner and the worship service.
We even have traditions at Kids of the Crown at Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Each year I read the story "Parable of the Pumpkin Patch" and we carve a special pumpkin with the children.  At Thanksgiving, we have a "Sharing Feast" and the children prepare a meal for their parents to come and have lunch with them.  At our Christmas party, I read "The Jesus Tree" to the children and we sing "Happy Birthday Jesus" and blow out candles on a birthday cake.
These traditions in my home and at school create memories for the children that they can draw on as they become parents some day.
I know that you must have traditions as well...I would love to hear about them, so please write about them below.

Parenting is a Team Sport

I have just started an online daily devotion entitled "Parenting by Design" through YouVersion (the Bible online).  Even though my children are grown, these devotions make me think about what kind of a parent I was and am.  I still learn a little something new everyday...imagine that!

Do you sometimes feel that you are doing this parenting thing all alone?  Are you far away from family?  Do you and your spouse have differing ideas on how to parent?  All of these things can lead to a lot of frustration and stress in your marriage and family.

In the world today being a parent is not an easy task.  It has changed so much since I was a little girl and even since my children were young (basically your age).  There are so many worldly things to distract you from what you want for your child.  The world in general has stepped away from God's plan for families.  With all the outside forces trying to grab your attention and all the many activities that we try to get our children involved in we forget to take time for what is most important...raising our children in the Lord.  Parenting is certainly not for cowards!

From my devotion this morning: 

Parenting is a team sport. When you and your spouse are "of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus," you can make the kind of parenting decisions that are best for everyone in the family. The Bible verses below are a helpful prayer for parents. With the aid of the Holy Spirit, the result will be appropriate choices, great consequences, and the empathy necessary to deliver both. By praying and seeking God's will together, you and your spouse (or friends) can with "one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Each spouse can learn something from the other. Single parents can learn from friends who are parents. When you talk about difficult parenting situations and pray together for guidance, you glorify God.

May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Romans 15:5-6

You are not in this alone!  God is on your team and walks by your side every day!  Put together your team...first with your spouse or if you are a single parent with other people who you trust and who are important in your children's lives.  May God bless your journey as your raise your children in HIM!

Leaving a Legacy

A few years ago I read a devotional that asked the question, "What will you be remembered for?"  As I think about that question many things pass through my mind.

When my son was eight years old, he watched his grandpa slowly pass from this life.  He was in hospice care for 3 months.  He also had a friend whose mother died around the same time.  One day when we were running errands he asked me what I thought heaven was like...I told him that I thought it was a wonderful place where everything was good.  He wanted to know what people who died did in heaven.  I told him that we didn't know the answer to that, but that I imagined both of his grandpas working side-by-side helping Jesus and that his friend's mom was there too.  He thought about that for a moment and then said "I know what you will be doing in heaven mom.  You'll be sitting with the children, teaching and singing with them about Jesus."  WOW!  I hadn't realized it, but he already understood my passion for Early Childhood ministry.

I am so thankful for parents that raised me in the Lord and made sure that I was in church every Sunday to hear Bible stories, study God's Word and spend time in Worship.  They made it a priority in our family and left a legacy of faith.  As I continue to learn and grow closer to my God, I am thankful that the foundation that  my parents laid is solid and strong.

What is your passion?  Do you want to leave a legacy of faith for your children?  You have probably heard the saying "children learn what they live".  It is very true!  If you place a high priority on your faith walk, your children will follow your example and you will be placing their feet on a firm foundation.  If you are committed to your Savior, your child will learn to do the same! 

• Proverbs 22:6 KJV
  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

WHAT WILL YOU BE REMEMBERED FOR?

It is never too late to begin working on your "legacy of faith"!  If you don't have one, find a church home and make Sunday worship a priority in your family.  If you have done that already, then make sure that your child sees and knows what Jesus means to you, not just on Sundays, but every day!

I'll be praying for you...for your journey of faith...for the legacy that you will leave for your children!  May God be with you!

Getting Through the Holidays

Halloween is just the beginning of several months of festivities that can wreak havoc in the routine that you have established for your children and your family.  All the treats, changes in routine, visiting family and the added activities make it difficult for your child to adjust. 

As we try to recreate the memories from our own childhood or meld the traditions from two families, it is easy to let those "things" take over our thoughts and planning and keep us from focusing on what is really important.

As you begin the important planning for the upcoming months, start by deciding what is really important to you.  Next determine whether it is something that is appropriate for the ages of your children.  If your children are very small, keep things simple and if they are older be sure to include them in the planning.  You'll be creating memories for their lifetime! 

Don't plan too many things or you and your children will become overwhelmed with all the activities.  You may be disappointed too if things don't quite go as you expected or planned.  Just spending quiet time together can be a very special memory as well!  Try to keep your routines for meals, naps and bedtime as normal as possible and you and your children will enjoy a more pleasant holiday season.

Remember to keep worship as a high priority during these busy times.  Your children will learn from you what Thanksgiving is all about when you go to church and thank God for all He has given you, including your family.  Teaching your children about the true meaning of Christmas will help them realize that Christmas is not just about getting gifts.  You can use these opportunities to help your children think about and care for others.

Finding the "Right" Childcare

Finding the "right" Childcare for your children is usually a daunting task for parents.  If it is your first child, all the emotions of leaving your child in the arms of strangers can overwhelm you.  It is important to find the "right" place, not only for your child, but for you as well.   There are many options available to parents, but each one has its pros and cons.  It is important that parents discuss what they want for their children and write down the questions that they want to ask prospective caregivers.  It is really easy to fall back on family members to provide the care, but even then it is important that there is an understanding of what you expect and will accept in care for your child.   Make sure that you check with many different types of childcare options (family care, registered home care, licensed childcare center)...don't just settle on the first place you come to.  Visit the places you are interested in and ask your questions, receive a tour and enrollment information.  Go to their website and look for reviews online as well as the information on the State Licensing website.  Talk to your friends who have children and find out where they go.  Start your research early and don't just base your decision on how much it costs.   Remember that your peace of mind when you find the right place will allow you to go to work or school and not worry about your children.  A good rule of thumb is to remember that you get what you pay for.  If your need is to provide the best place for your child, then it is probably not advisable to go with the place that costs less.  If you desire a Christian program that will support and encourage your family values, then you should seek a place associated with a church that provides a Christian curriculum.  If you want all the bells and whistles and the facility is the most important thing, then cost is probably not an concern.  One last thought, give your child some time to adjust to the new setting, whatever it may be.  They will miss you, but they adapt quickly!