Busy, busy, busy....Are you too busy?

Do you sometimes feel as if you run from one activity to another?  If you have 2 or more kids, keeping up with all their activities can be a job in itself.  Sports, dance, gymnastics, etc. can take over your children's lives and yours.

Working parents struggle with being a good employee and the many requirements of their job and still being "parent of the year".  There can be a great deal of guilt when you see your child's friends participating in many extra-curricular activities and there is always the feeling that the same thing is expected of you or that your child will miss out on something if they are not involved.

Even the disciples struggled with that feeling...

30  The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught.  31 And he said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while." For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.                                                                                                  Mark 6:30-31

Even though the apostles were busy doing the work of the Kingdom, Jesus recognized their need for rest and made sure they set some quiet time aside to replenish their bodies and souls. What a great lesson for us! When our days are scheduled tightly, it creates unnecessary stress and can leave everyone irritable and exhausted. In a culture that glorifies activity, achievement, and "busyness", it can be hard to slow down the pace of our lives and the lives of our children. It takes wisdom to prioritize our activities.

Some ideas that might help:

• Share the responsibility of car-pooling to activities.  
• Limit the number of things that they get involved in at any one time and remember that your child does not need an extra activity every night.  
• Let them help make the choices for what is most important to them.  

Children do need the ability to just be children at times and to nurture their family relationships.  When they grow up and have families of their own they need to have experienced strong family relationships in their childhood to help them be great parents to their children. Make a family night one of your priorities each week.

Also realize that the parent that you are admiring for doing so much with their child is probably facing the same anxiety and parenting struggles that you are.  Learn to share the load and develop a parenting support group with the parents of your children's friends.  Nurture your relationships with other parents and seek out those who can become your "prayer partners", building a team of prayers warriors that will pray for your child and your parenting needs at any time.  

Are there areas where your life, or your children's lives might be over-scheduled?  Make it a priority to provide time for rest and relaxation for everyone in your family including yourself!  Take a break regularly to renew and rejuvenate your mind, heart and soul...it will strengthen you for the parenting journey ahead!

Excerpts from Parenting by Design Daily Devotional

Copycats?

Do you remember irritating your friends, siblings and sometimes even your parents by copying everything they said.  It was a game when it first started, but after awhile it became annoying.  Have your children ever played that little game with you?

Children are natural copycats.  They imitate everything that they see.  It is how they learn...they have to try it out for themselves.  They also want to grow up and be just like their parents which makes the parent very proud.

Sometimes though, the things they learn are not exactly what we want them to learn:

• bad habits
• using bad language
• showing anger
• breaking the law
• stealing

Those are some extreme examples, but think about it for a minute...we ask them to pick up their toys or clean up their room, but we fail to put things away when we are finished with them.  We talk about the dangers of drugs, smoking or overeating, but we indulge in our habits and say, "don't do what I do".  Our language is sometimes less than "God-pleasing", but we just tell our children that those words are only for adults...really?  We show our anger by yelling and screaming and maybe slamming doors or even walking out, but if our child shows a temper they are disciplined and punished.  We talk about obeying the law, but push the speed limits because?????  We talk about honesty and respecting others and their belongings, but we don't think anything about not telling the cashier that they gave us too much change or taking an item or two from work because they'll never miss it.

You would be surprised at how often some of these things are displayed in the child care setting.  When I talk to the child about what occurred I often ask "where did you see that behavior" or "where did you hear those words".  Sadly they often respond by saying "from my daddy or my mommy".


Have you ever held your child accountable for something you failed to do yourself?  We will be much more influential in the lives of our children if we practice what we preach. Why? Because our kids know when we're being hypocritical! When we complain that they do not treat us with respect, we need to be willing to ask ourselves if our actions and attitudes are worthy of their respect.
Do you want your kids to copy your behavior?

Even though your child may spend the major part of their waking hours in daycare or school, you...the parent...are still the greatest influence on your child.  You are the one they are most likely to emulate.

It is difficult to break habits, especially those that you yourself may have grown up with and learned from your parent.  It is time to break that cycle though and for your child's sake live a life that is worthy of copying.  God bless you as you strive to do that and as you raise your little "copycats"!


God's Words of wisdom in Romans 2:21

21 you then who teach others, do you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? 22 You who say that one must not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples?

The Importance of Fathers...

Many years ago as a young parent, I heard the following song for the first time.  I wanted to give my children the best that I could and realized that money and things were really not the most important gifts I could give my children.  In honor of fathers and the role they play in their children's lives, I'd like to share the words of this song with you.  I pray that it will be an inspiration for fathers (and mothers) to put priorities in the right order and make sure that the gift they give their children is one that will last for all eternity.

THE GREATEST GIFT 
Song and Lyrics by:  Steve and Annie Chapman

1.  You can give your children houses

     You can give them land
     The riches of your efforts
     And all your best laid plans
     But of all that they inherit
     Of all that you could will
     Please include the unseen treasure
     of a life that God has filled.

CHORUS:  Cause the greatest gift a father can give
                   is a life lived for Jesus
                   And the greatest gift a mother can give
                   is the knowledge of the LORD
                   Pass it on to your children
                   He’s the gift that keeps on giving
                   The greatest gift is a life lived for Jesus

2.  One day the house will crumble
     Time will turn the land to dust
     And when all accounts are empty
     Where will you invest their trust
     But if the riches that you give them
     is the wisdom of His ways
     Then the wealth you’ll leave your children
     will last through all their days

CHORUS:  Cause the greatest gift a father can give
                   is a life lived for Jesus
                  And the greatest gift a mother can give
                  is the knowledge of the LORD
                  Pass it on to your children
                  He’s the gift that keeps on giving
                  The greatest gift is a life lived for Jesus

I am so thankful that my dad and mom knew this when I was growing up.  I pray that my children could see this in my life while they were little and even now as they are grown.  I pray that you also will live the words of this song for your children as you raise them up in the Lord.

There are many quotes that encourage fathers as they parent their children...two of my favorites are:

"The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."  

John Wooden 

"One night a father overheard his son pray: Dear God, Make me the kind of man my Daddy is. Later that night, the Father prayed, Dear God, Make me the kind of man my son wants me to be."

Anonymous

As you strive to become a father like your Heavenly Father allow these scriptures to guide and encourage you.

Joshua 1:9
...Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. (NIV)

Proverbs 3:11-12
My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline
and do not resent his rebuke,
because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in. (NIV)

Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. 

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Brain Research and Your Child

Recently as a staff we did a training on "brain research" in the Early Childhood Field.  Although it is something we as teachers need to know, it is also important for parents to understand as their children grow and learn.

The question has often been asked...is learning more dependent on "nature" or "nurture"?  Research indicates that it really depends on a complex combination of genes and environment.  In early childhood programs we can use this information in designing appropriate environments for learning.

Some of the environmental implications that influence brain function are listed below:

• Children need restful sleep at night and daily naps.  The brain uses this time to do its housekeeping and reorganize itself.  As adults we can understand that a "power nap" can benefit us as well.
• Children also need diets rich in protein (meats, nuts and cheese), fatty 3 acids, and selenium and boron (leafy green vegetables).  "Fast food" and "junk food" do not fall into these categories.  Healthy diets require a balance.
• Children should drink water frequently during the day...thirsty brains can't think.  Try to eliminate excessive juice drinking when you can and leave out sodas altogether.
• Children learn better in an environment where they feel safe.  When you seek a childcare or school for your child their sense of safety should be very important.
• Appropriate toys should be provided that encourage the skills for each year of their lives.  For example...during the first few years of life children are focused on cause and effect relationships and should be offered toys that reinforce this concept.  Video and computer games do not support these skills and should be kept to a minimum.
• Pay attention to colors.  Bright colors make us more alert, darker colors calm us.  There is an appropriate use for all colors, but think about how you are using them and the effect they may have on the brain.
• Change is good...rotate toys, rearrange the room, etc.  Just don't make too many changes at once.  Change is good...it causes children to adapt to whatever situation they are in, but too much change at school or at home can cause great anxiety.
• Children need space because motor development is at its peak in the preschool years.  Along with that space there is a need for quiet activities as well as active learning.
• Include plants in the environment...plants increase oxygen and the brain needs oxygen to stay alert.  Just be careful about the toxicity of any plants that are within the reach of your children.
• Provide stimulation...but not too much that will cause children to lose focus.  Busy rooms and spaces can overwhelm some children so be careful when you decorate or furnish a space.

Although these things are important in an Early Childhood setting they are equally as important for your children at home.  During the first few years of your child's life their brain is developing rapidly so the importance of all these factors is even greater. 

The Meanest Mother in the World

As my children were growing up they would sometimes say that I was a mean mother because I wouldn't let them do something that their friends could do or my rules were stricter than they liked.  As a mom, my rules were meant to teach my children things like responsibility, courage, honesty, courtesy, and respect.

Over the years I have appreciated an article that I found and that has been hanging on the wall in my house since my children were small.  In honor of Mother's Day, I'm sharing that article with you now.  I pray that it will give you a laugh and encourage you, as you mother your children by being a "mean mother" too!

"Meanest Mother in the World"

 I had the meanest Mother in the world.  While other kids had candy for breakfast, I had to eat cereal, eggs and toast.  While other kids had cakes and candy for lunch, I had a sandwich.  As you can guess, my dinner was different from the other kids's dinners, too.

My mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times.  You'd think we were on a chain gang or something.  She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing.

I am ashamed to admit it, but she actually had the nerve to break the child labor law.  She made us work.  We had to wash dishes, make the beds and learn how to cook.  That woman must have stayed awake nights thinking up things for us kids to do.  And she insisted that we tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers, she was much wiser and our life became more unbearable.  None of this tooting the car horn for us to come running; she embarrassed us to no end by insisting that the boys come to the door to get us.

I forgot to mention that most of our friends were allowed to date at the mature age of 12 or 13, but our old fashioned Mother refused to let us date until we were 15.  She really raised a bunch of squares.  None of us was ever arrested for shoplifting  or busted for dope.  And who do we have to thank for this?  You're right, our mean mother. 

I am trying to raise my children to stand a little straighter and taller and I am secretly tickled to pieces when my children call me mean.  I thank God for giving me the meanest Mother in the world.  Our country doesn't need a good five cent cigar.  It needs more mean Mothers like mine.

Blessings on that wonderful woman.

                                                                        Author Unknown

Blessings on your Mother's Day!   

   

Our Electronic World...

The world is a very different place than when I grew up.  I can remember when having a TV was a luxury and the marvel of how that worked.  In today's world, almost everyone has a phone that has most if not all of the capabilities of a computer.  Electronic games are everywhere and everyone has a TV, some people have them in every room.  We have even gone so far as to have monitors in our cars so that children can watch movies every time they are in the car. 

We all know what it is like to get hooked on an electronic game or watch movies on DVD or just downloading them to our TV.  Our obsession with owning the newest gadget or game is having an influence on our children as well.  Often when I drive the bus the conversation that I hear is all about "angry birds" or some of the other popular electronic games or the most recent movie that is really not meant for children, but they have been allowed to watch.

There is a lot of evidence out there that all this electronic "stuff" may be harmful to our children in many ways.  There are various concerns that have been stated, such as:

TIME - Children spend about 4 hours per day watching TV or movies, playing video games and spending time on the internet rather than interacting with others or reading or playing outside.

NUTRITION - Obesity in children is at epidemic levels...they spend so much time on electronic devices that they aren't spending enough time playing and getting exercise.  They also tend to eat unhealthy snacks while involved in electronics and are exposed to all types of commercials promoting a less than healthy diet when they watch TV.

VIOLENCE - Many research studies have shown that children who watch or play violent TV or video games show a heightened level of violence in their relationships.

At Kids of the Crown, we don't permit the use of computers or the Playstation for games until they are in the Pre-K5 class or older.    Even then, their playtime is limited and they must choose other more creative activities throughout the day.  We don't watch TV at all and only watch videos or movies on rainy days when they can't go outside or when we have a special "Movie Day".   Mondays are a "no electronics" day at Kids of the Crown! 

I would like to encourage you as parents to limit your child's electronic activities and balance them with activities that children need to grow healthy and strong.  All the activities of my childhood come to mind...playing outside, riding my bike, skating, playing in the dirt, spending time with neighborhood friends, participating in church activities, reading, playing board games, etc.

This includes car trips as well...when children do nothing but watch videos they miss seeing the world around them.  You also can play games with numbers, letters and shapes that can reinforce what they are learning in school...when they are in a car seat you have a captive audience.  Make one night each week a "family game night"...order pizza, make popcorn and play board games.  It will create memories that your child will never forget!

These activities teach skills that cannot be learned by participating in electronic games.  They teach life skills that are necessary for children to achieve  before they go to school and for the rest of their lives.  

Teaching Children Responsibility

I have often watched in wonder, as children hand their parents all their belongings to carry or blame mom or dad for forgetting homework, other important paperwork or dance or sports equipment at home or school.  The parent takes responsibility and then goes out of their way to "fix" the problem for the child.  Parents take forgotten homework to school, make excuses when the child is late, or replace something that the child carelessly lost.

As parents, we all want our children to be successful in everything they do, but sometimes our efforts to help them be successful actually hinders their ability to function in the "real world".  As they grow older and become adults, they will be expected to take responsibility for their actions in their job as well as in their own family.  Those children who have been taught responsibility from the toddler age will usually be successful in becoming responsible adults.  Would you tell your boss that a co-worker forgot the report that you were responsible for presenting?

There are many things that you as a parent can do to teach your child responsibility, but it is even more important to model that responsibility for them.  The best way for children to learn responsibility is to give them a chance to succeed or fail on their own.  That is hard!  We don't want our children to fail, but our parental rescues actually postpone the development of responsibility.  Children need to learn about actions and consequences.

The early years are the best time for parents and caregivers to teach responsibility in age-appropriate ways:

• Toddlers - are capable of picking up their toys from the time that they can walk.  They can also throw away their diaper after it has been changed or bring diapers and wipes when they need to be changed.

• Preschoolers - can take care of pets, help sort and fold laundry, clear the table, brush their teeth, wash their faces, make their bed and clean up their rooms.

• Schoolagers - take care of their personal hygiene, take care of pets, load the dishwasher, make their bed, wash their clothes, and learn to keep track of their belongings and their homework.  They are also capable of calling their teacher or coach if they need to find out something about an upcoming project or activity. 

When children are allowed to pass their responsibilities off on others, they avoid the consequences and will continue to repeat the behaviors, but when they are expected to accept responsibility for their actions and the consequences that occur, they will learn from the situation and will be less likely to repeat the behavior.

As with all areas of teaching children, modeling the behavior for your child, starting at an early age, making sure that what is expected is age-appropriate, allowing natural consequences to occur and setting clear rules and enforcing them will help both you and your child be successful.

We are called to "train" our children... 
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.                                                    Proverbs 22:6