Resolutions...

New Year's Resolutions...do you make them each year, fully intending to keep them, or do you make them and quickly lose your resolve and break them, or have you just decided not to make them any more so you don't have to worry about "making" them or "breaking" them?

I used to make resolutions every year, usually about my weight or some other self-improvement area, but I never made it very far into the year before they were broken.  I finally quit making resolutions to avoid the frustration of never being successful in keeping them.

When it comes to being a parent though, it can be useful to make a plan for how you are going to parent your child in the coming year.  That doesn't mean that you will keep your resolution, but when it comes to their children, parents usually make a sincere effort.

Have you thought about what kind of parent you want to be, not just in the coming year, but for all time?  Searching out the answer to that question can be quite revealing.  What vision do you have for your child's future...do you want them to be well educated, financially successful, emotionally happy, physically strong,  Of course you do!  We all want our children to have everything!

What about spiritually connected?  When your child sees you, do they immediately know that your faith in God is your greatest strength?  Do they see you meeting challenges, achieving success, enjoying life with your spouse and being healthy? Do they see you turning to God daily for direction in all areas of your life?  Do they see you surviving the rough places when you stumble and God carries you?

I have two resolutions for you this year:

• Make sure that your family is in church regularly somewhere so that they are being fed and their faith may grow.
• As a leader in your family, keep your faith strong by daily time in God's Word.

I made a resolution in August of this year to be in God's Word daily...yes, I've made that resolution before!  This year I found a tool that I want to share with you.  Sitting down for any length of time to read my Bible is not as easy as it should be so I now have the Bible on an app on my phone and my computer...it is always open so I find myself going there often.  One of the great things that I have enjoyed is the "reading plans" that are available and give me a focus and direction.  I am currently on day 58 of a 280 day plan called "Parenting by Design".  If you are interested in strengthening your walk with the Lord, go to YouVersion.com and check it out.
 

1 Chronicles 16:11 KJV

Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually.

 

MAY GOD BLESS YOUR JOURNEY AS YOU PARENT IN 2012 AND BEYOND!

Love is Not an Option

First you were a couple...then you were parents.  How that changes things!  As a couple, it was all about the two of you (and maybe your pets).  You did things together, you sent messages to each other, you gave gifts to each other, you had time for each other.  Then, that new baby came into your life and everything changed.  At first it was great...you shared everything about your new baby and you quickly became a threesome or foursome or fivesome. 
Eventually, though the newness wears off and life returns to normal.  You are now balancing your career with not only your relationship with your spouse, but also with your role as a parent.  There doesn't seem to be enough time in the day for everyone and everything.  Very quickly husbands (and wives) begin  to feel neglected and stressed and overworked.  It is hard to find time to care for and love each other!
It is generally good practice for husbands and wives to schedule regular (at least once a month) dates with each other and spend time with each other.  Find a sitter, take turns planning a night out (or in) to devote just to each other.  You and your spouse will benefit from that one small thing and even more that that your child(ren) will benefit too!
It has been said that the best thing that a father can do for his children is love their mother and the best thing that a mother can do is love their father.  Your children learn about commitment, sacrifice, love, marriage, relationships and so many other things when they see their parents "loving and caring" for one another.  It provides them with a sense of security!
In many marriages, the priorities are all messed up...it should be God first, spouse second, children third and job fourth.  it is not easy to follow these priorities, but the alternative leads to unhappy homes and divorced families.  In the long run, it is the children that suffer the most.
If you need some resources to get your marriage back on track, check out the "Love Dare Book" from Fireproof and "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.
Remember...you were a couple before your children arrived and you will be a couple again when they leave the nest.  Hang on to each other and keep loving!

Building a Child's Self Esteem

I have had the privilege of watching many children grown up over the years that I have been a classroom teacher, Sunday School teacher, Girl Scout leader, Children's Ministry Director, Childcare Director and mom.  Parents have often expressed concern over their child's self-esteem or the lack of it. They have over-compensated by excessive praise that wasn't really necessary or sincere.  They have failed to correct their child's behavior because they didn't want to damage their child's self-esteem.  All the while, those things weren't what was destroying the child's self worth.

In this technological age, I am always amazed at the number of parents who come in to drop off or pick up their children at childcare while talking on their cell phone.  I know that business is important for their livelihood, but they are either leaving their child for a long day or picking them up after a long day.  Their child needs their undivided attention!  The child's self-esteem grows when they see that they are #1 in their parents eyes.

The other thing that really gets me is when they clean out their child's cubbie and throw everything in the trash before they leave the building.  They don't take the time to look through it or even talk to their child about their creations.  Even though the scraps of paper may not mean much to the parent, it does to the child.

Children grow up so very fast...take it from me the time just flies by!  Parents would be wise to cherish the moments with their children.  It would be much better for a parent to take time to properly say good-bye to their child each day, or to sit down for a minute to play with them or talk to them about their day instead of rushing off to the next activity or event.  This is where love is spelled TIME.

Have you ever though about framing your child's art...not just on the refrigerator for a time, but in a real frame and making a gallery of their best work.  More than anything your child desires your approval.  I saved all my children's school work, but never did anything with it except store it in the attic.  I wish I had taken a different approach.