The October to January Cycle

It is that time of year again...when parents come in and talk about their child's attitude and behavior changes.  They are obviously rattled by the change in their previously sweet and compliant child.  There are many things that effect children at this time of the year...so many in fact that it is easy to forget that some of those things are normal and some can be controlled and guided by consistent parenting.
The list goes on...

• Their age - if they are between 2 and 4 years old or in 4th or 5th grade many changes can be attributed to their age.  Two to Four year old children are reaching for independence even if they are not completely ready to handle it yet.  Tantrums and Crying Fits are more rampant as they try to get their way.  This one is very normal requires a parent to not show a reaction and remain consistent in their expectations.  They will outgrow it, but the end result will be effected by the way you as a parent handle those tantrums and fits.
• The weather - as we move into the fall and the cooler weather we also usually experience some rainy weather.  When that happens it means that the children do not get outside to play as much and they begin to experience cabin fever.  You can help here if you make a plan to get your children outside to play as often as possible and find some new and exciting "fall" activities to fill their time.
• The time change - We "fall back" and when we do our sleep routine is disturbed...it especially effects young children.  Our bodies need time to adjust to the new time.
• The holidays - yes...Halloween is only the beginning of the holiday season, followed by Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.  I call it the October to January cycle.  All the extra candy and special treats, traveling for vacation or spending time with family, unusual schedules and routines as well as Christmas and its overabundance affect a child's routine.  Believe it or not most children (and adults) are creatures of habit and when their routine is changed they don't handle it well.

As parents we want our children to be successful and when we see them struggling and we see their attitude or behavior effected we are distressed and alarmed.  Parents need to realize that it is a season...a season of their children's lives that will pass.  They can help most by not providing too many sweets or treats, keeping routines and sleep schedules as well as diets as normal as possible, not overreacting when things get out of control and remember that they are just children...they don't yet have the same coping mechanisms that adults do in the same circumstances.  Even some adults don't handle all these changes well.

Try to prepare your child for the changes and let them know what to expect.  Give them a little extra love and attention especially when they are doing what you want them to do.  Pray for them and for yourself daily.  This season will pass quickly and you want to remember it in a positive way and you want that for your child too!

It is not easy being a parent...and unfortunately we are not given a guidebook to help us through the rough times.  Find someone to talk to or to use as a sounding board...a parent, teacher, friend.  Seek out people who will listen, but also those who can offer support and suggestions to help.

Last, but should probably be first...ask God to bless your family with peace and understanding, patience and love.  Help your children turn to Him too when they hit the rough spots.  He has promised to always be there for you!

The Greatest Gift a Parent Can Give?

A little over a week ago my family gathered for a family reunion and to celebrate my mom's 90th birthday.  Even though our family is not large, we had not all been together in a very long time and our family had changed considerably since our last family photo had been taken.  We had a wonderful time renewing our relationships and talking and sharing about what had been going on in our lives in the past years. 

Even more important was that this event was in honor of my mother's birthday.  She enjoyed the time with her family as well and many memories were created for her to think about as she looks over the many pictures that were taken.

We all had the opportunity to present her with a flower and share a funny story, or something special we remembered in our relationship with her.  A wide variety of things were shared, but through it all the message came through loud and clear that she is loved and appreciated! 

Many years ago when my children were little I heard a song which also became one of my favorites.  It was sung by Steve and Annie Chapman and is entitled “The Greatest Gift”.  I’d like to share the words of that song with you because they represent the life that my Mom and Dad lived daily before us all.

THE GREATEST GIFT

You can give your children houses, You can give them land

The riches of your efforts, And all your best laid plans

But of all that they inherit, Of all that you could will

Please include the unseen treasure of a life that God has filled.

'Cause the greatest gift a father can give is a life lived for Jesus

And the greatest gift a mother can give is the knowledge of the LORD

Pass it on to your children, He’s the gift that keeps on giving

The greatest gift is a life lived for Jesus.

One day the house will crumble, Time will turn the land to dust

And when all accounts are empty, Where will you invest their trust

But if the riches that you give them is the wisdom of His ways

Then the wealth you’ll leave your children will last through all their days.

'Cause the greatest gift a father can give is a life lived for Jesus

And the greatest gift a mother can give is the knowledge of the LORD

Pass it on to your children, He’s the gift that keeps on giving

The greatest gift is a life lived for Jesus.

Mother, you and Daddy gave us the best inheritance already.  As you celebrate this 90^th birthday rest in the knowledge that you have given us “the greatest gift” a father and mother can give.  I am so thankful for the legacy of faith that you have given our family…so grateful that you have instilled in us a love for the Lord and a faith that knows no bounds.

Can you GIVE too much?

I was having a discussion the other day with a mom whose parents and siblings are always promising to buy her child a big TV, the latest phone, or expensive (and sometimes inappropriate) games, etc.  The mom was really frustrated because they were offering these "rewards" if the child bettered their time in a sport.  The child was not able to meet the goal that they set and was extremely upset...the mom of course had to bear the brunt of the child's frustration.  Because of this approach the child now asks his mom "What do I get?" whenever he is asked to do a small task or chore.

How do you set goals and rewards for your children?  Do they really need rewards for every little thing they do?  Do you want your child to grow up expecting the world (job, family, friends) to give them everything they want and always let them win or at least be rewarded for everything they do?

In some families it is all about being the winner...earning the prize, but is that reality?  Not many of us or our children were born with a silver spoon in our mouths!

Yes, children need to be challenged to set goals and achieve them, but wouldn't the reward of doing their best be more successful at building their self confidence and encouraging them to try even harder?  Children also need to learn about becoming graceful losers so that they are not devastated when things don't go their way.  Learning how to win and lose is part of growing up...make sure your child has the opportunity to learn both!

Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward.  Hebrews 10:35 (ESV)

When parents (and grandparents) set unrealistic goals and offer inappropriate rewards they are setting the child up for failure.  No parent or grandparent really wants that!

To help children learn responsibility, cooperation and teamwork they need to be given some chores to do as a part of the family.  Occasionally offering your child the ability to earn some extra money or a special toy by doing a chore or task that is not usually their responsibility can be fun and will give them a small incentive to accomplish the task at hand.  Children should not be rewarded for those things that are meant to help them grow in self esteem.  Their accomplishment and the congratulations of others should be enough of a reward for personal challenges!

Passing on "Words of Wisdom"...

Do you remember when you were a child?  Do you remember the little bits of wisdom that your parents shared with you as you were growing up?  When we were children and on the receiving end of these tidbits we didn't always see them as "words of wisdom".  Maybe you vowed that you would never say these things to your children...time passes and we grow older and begin to see a little more wisdom in those words.  As we begin to have children and communicate with them we suddenly find ourselves saying the same things our parents did...and when we say them we are surprised at how smoothly they flow from our lips.
As my children were little I would come across plaques or pictures that seemed to fit the situation I was in...much like the types of signs that are posted on Facebook and Pinterest.  The two that I have added below are a couple of my favorites...I hung them outside my children's rooms as a constant reminder of what MOM or DAD would say.

Please enjoy these and think back to your childhood and those "words of wisdom" that your parents shared...I am sure that there are more than these out there.  Please share your comments below and the things that you remember...or the things that you now say.

Remember though that the greatest words you can share with your children are those that will help them know Jesus as Lord and Savior and their very best Friend. 

Helping Children Discover Their Best Selves

Can you imagine the wonder and awe that the first people experienced in the world that God created?  We often overlook it today because we have become so accustomed to the world we live in and we don't take time to enjoy the natural world around us.  We fail to look for the uniqueness of nature...we just don't have the time.  

It has become more and more apparent that sensory issues affect more and more children all the time.  Evidence shows that children today can be over-stimulated or under-stimulated in early childhood environments.  As an early childhood educator I have seen this issue become pre-dominant over the past few years, not only in the behavior of the children, but also in the increased number of staff trainings that focus on sensory issues and behavioral issues.  At our recent staff in-service one of our workshops was focused on "The Impact of Sensory Integration on Behavior:  Discovering Our Best Selves".  Our purpose was to determine how we as early childhood teachers can help children discover their best selves.

During the last years, things like television, computers, video games and the Internet have bombarded us with more visual images than people in previous years have ever experienced.  What all of this will mean to human development remains to be determined, but the evidence already shows that children who are overloaded with visual information either "shut down" and pay less attention to the world around them or "speed up" and show increasing negative changes in behavior.

There are several ways that we can help children to cope with the visual stimulation in today's world:

• Taking more care in the set up of classrooms and play spaces.  Keeping them well-organized and free from clutter and filling them with more natural materials.  Carefully choosing visual images (photographs, picture books, paintings) and encouraging them to look for patterns in images and find similarities in shapes, textures and colors.
• Becoming fellow investigators with children and keeping a sense of wonder about the world sparks imagination and stimulates activities.
• Spending more time outdoors and interacting with nature can alleviate some of the behavioral challenges that children experience. When schools cut back on recess time to spend more time on standardized testing all children suffer, but especially those with sensory integration challenges.
• Moving to learn (providing well planned movement experiences that happen regularly) to help children use their whole body will help especially the kinesthetic learner. 

Our recent activity of creating body sculptures that mimic trees was a follow up to our training workshop.  The pictures were a lot of fun and being in the outdoors whether it was a warm day or a cold day allowed the children to connect with nature in a different way.  Some of our teachers have extended that activity to our families as well and we encourage you to take the time to investigate nature with your child...take a walk...look for unusually shaped trees and then take a picture of the body sculpture that you and your child make.

Continue to look for the miraculous in everyday experiences and help your child develop a sense of awe and wonder about the world around them.  Your child will translate those experiences into calmer and more positive behaviors and a love for learning that will last a lifetime.

For more ideas on how you can encourage these experiences for your child go to the National Arbor Day Foundation and look for the Kids Explore Club.  Plan some family outings in the "great outdoors", turn off the television and spend happy times enjoying God's gifts of nature...you will find that your children will calm down and learn to move at a slower pace.  Children will also connect to something greater than themselves and learn that some of the world's best gifts don't come from a store.

Excerpts taken from an article by Nancy Rosenow, "The Impact of Sensory Integration on Behavior:  Discovering Our Best Selves" from Childcare Information Exchange.

Another New Year!

As I was looking back over the blog posts for the last year , it made me think about how quickly time flies by.  My children are in their 20's and 30's...it seems just like yesterday that they were little and still needed my care and attention...now they are adults who are living lives of their own.  I look at my grandchildren and am amazed at how quickly they are growing and how much they are learning!

I look at many of the children at KOC and remember them as infants as they came to childcare for the first time...now many of them in school and some who have even moved on to middle school and high school.  I remember the parents too...the first time parents who struggled so about putting their baby in child care...and those more experienced parents who still struggled when they had to leave their little ones.

• Are you cherishing these early years with your children?  
• Are you taking the time to enjoy them?  
• Are you teaching them to be independent and self-sufficient?  
• Are you teaching them what commitment is?  
• Are you showing them how to grow a strong marriage?  
• Are you sharing your faith with them and showing them by your actions your love and devotion to God?  

There is not a minute to waste!  

Time passes so quickly! 

Don't let these early years pass by so quickly while you are involved in your work and the day to day struggles of life that you suddenly realize your children are grown and your opportunity to influence their future is gone!  The time is now!

God has given you the precious gift of children...it is His desire that you raise them up to know Him, love Him and serve Him.

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.                                                                    Deuteronomy 6:4-9